The Other Side of Nice

Tag: life

  • Making peace with anger

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    For a long time, anger terrified me. Not just other people’s anger; mine too. It confused me, and I didn’t know what to do with it. I grew up watching anger explode at the most unpredictable times. It wasn’t a feeling; it was a force. Loud voices, slammed doors, silence that lasted days. It taught…

  • Leave it as you found it (That includes people)

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    I recently got away for a night with my daughter. We stayed in the sweetest little Airbnb tucked away in our province — cozy, quiet, and full of charm. As we packed up and got ready to check out, I found myself tidying up without really thinking about it. Honestly, it made me smile, because…

  • Why I apologize to my kids (then and now)

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    When I was growing up, parenthood seemed to be all about having the last word. I imagined that’s how I would have to parent as well.  I thought I had to be right; even when I wasn’t because being “the adult” meant holding authority. To be honest, for a long time, I misunderstood what authority really meant.…

  • When helping turns into controlling

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    I’ve done a lot of reflecting over the years, and never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d ever admit that what I once believed was simply being “helpful” was truly, a form of control especially when it came to being a parent. My support wasn’t always as selfless as I told myself it…

  • What I wish I had known at 30

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    My stepdaughter turns 30 this year, and honestly—she’s got her shit together, far more than I ever did at that age. If you tell her that, she’ll quietly laugh and shy away from the compliment, but I can see it in her: the confidence, the clarity, the steady way she walks through life – and…

  • How my kids have taught me boundaries

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    No one really prepares you for parenting adult children. You think once they’re out of the house, things will settle and that your job is pretty much “done.” If anything, the lessons get deeper — and boundaries become even more important. When my kids were young, boundaries were something I thought I was good at…

  • How I Learned to Say No Without Guilt

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    “No” has lived at the bottom of my vocabulary for most of my life. I buried beneath politeness, people-pleasing, and a deeply rooted fear of disappointing others. On the rare occasion that I mustered up the courage to say no to something, I would drown in guilt for days afterward.  The kind, helpful and supportive…