The Other Side of Nice

Tag: life

  • Why I chose to stop drinking in a world that doesn’t know how to stop

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    loriday1974
    in

    I chose to stop drinking regularly two years ago.  When I say that, I’m not claiming to be on a sober journey and no, I don’t have a problem with alcohol.  I just noticed weekend after weekend of going without it, I was happier, I was sleeping better, and I had some spare change in…

  • Hi, my name is Lori and I “add to cart” for sport

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    loriday1974
    in

    How many times have you told yourself this holiday season, “I’m not going overboard this year” or “I’m all done shopping,” only to walk into a store and magically find more things someone in your life would “love”? My husband says if our Amazon driver misses a day, he’s going to file a wellness check.Honestly?…

  • Divine timing and the quiet work of souls

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    loriday1974
    in

    It’s a small world!We’ve all said it. We’ve all heard it. That moment when you meet someone who knows your cousin’s best friend’s sister — even though they grew up hours away — and you just kind of laugh and shake your head like, How is that even possible? But the older I get, the…

  • If you want a village, you have to be a villager

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    loriday1974
    in

    We’ve all heard the saying “it takes a village.” Usually, it’s in reference to raising children — but honestly, it applies to almost every stage of life. We all crave connection, support, and a sense of belonging. I’ll be honest: I’m an introvert. I do love people when the time is right, but being social…

  • Rewriting my inner voice

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    loriday1974
    in

    If there’s one voice that’s followed me through every stage of life, it’s the one inside my head: the critic. You know the one, the voice that whispers you’re not enough, you should’ve done better, they’re upset because of you. For far too many years, I listened to that voice without question because I thought…

  • Trust your gut – Always

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    loriday1974
    in

    A few years back, when my daughter was still in high school, she ended up at a friend of a friend’s house one night where a party was going on. Some of the adults there were doing things that made her uncomfortable — things someone even tried to tell her were “perfectly normal.” She didn’t…

  • Making peace with my past

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    loriday1974
    in

    I’ve lost count of the years I carried the weight of my past mistakes like a heavy coat I couldn’t take off. Exhausting! Every wrong choice, every argument, or every time I fell short was a reminder that I wasn’t enough. I used to think that if I could just fix the present, I could…

  • How I finally learned my worth

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    loriday1974
    in

    Photo credit: Jordyn Day It took me far longer than I care to admit to finally like who I am and celebrate my worth.  It wasn’t until I was in my very late 30’s that I started to see that I was a good person who deserved to be happy. Codependency taught me to look…

  • The power of positivity: How shifting my self-talk changed everything

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    loriday1974
    in

    There’s a period of my life I look back on now and actually chuckle. My friend Ali and I used to have what we called our “bitching sessions.” We’d either get together or email (yes, we’re ancient) and pour out everything that was wrong in our lives, feeding off each other’s frustrations. At the time,…

  • The voice that changed the room

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    loriday1974
    in

    Some words live rent-free in your mind; not because they’re dramatic or loud, but because they arrived exactly when you needed them. I’ve always been anxious and terribly self-conscious. (I’ll share more about how I learned my worth in a future post.) I think this ties into everything I’ve written about so far: our life…

  • Breaking generational curses – even now with my grown children

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    loriday1974
    in

    “I will never treat my children like that!” I used to mutter those words to my parents often, especially in my teen years. It was my small rebellion, my private promise to myself that I would do better—even if I didn’t know yet what “better” looked like. For a long time, I believed healing had…

  • Letting go when the nest finally empties

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    loriday1974
    in

    This post might not be original because I know many parents have shared similar stories about the empty nest when kids go off to college or university, but here’s my perspective. Even though it’s a common experience, the feelings are still deeply personal each time a parent goes through it. From the time my children…

  • The hardest boundary I’ve ever had to keep (and why I still struggle with it)

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    loriday1974
    in

    Over the years, I’ve learned how to set boundaries. It used to feel impossible but with the help of therapy, a few tears, and trial-by-fire, I have learned how to say no. There’s one boundary that still knocks the wind out of me. One that I have to recommit to daily, sometimes hourly: Not rescuing…

  • Letting go of resentment

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    loriday1974
    in

    Photo Credit: Jordyn Day Resentment is one of those quiet weights we carry without realizing it. We don’t always realize how intricately it has woven itself into our thoughts, actions, and relationships until the moment we try to embark on releasing it. Resentment is not what I ever would have imagined; for me, it wasn’t…

  • Being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat

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    loriday1974
    in

    There’s this perception that a kind person is one who always says yes.Or at least that was my perception for a long time. I thought that if I said no to extra work, invitations, favors, or anything that made me uncomfortable, I’d be viewed as difficult; maybe even bitchy, and for someone like me —…

  • The one we don’t talk about (and that’s a good thing)

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    loriday1974
    in

    There’s a moment that sticks with me from one of my therapy sessions. I was deep in conversation unraveling worries about one child, then my father’s illness and on top of that; grandchildren and being a caregiver when I had barely anything left to give— when my therapist gently asked:“Have you ever noticed we rarely…

  • Loving my son through the hard parts

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    loriday1974
    in

    A mother/son bond is hard to beat.  It’s so different from the mother/daughter bond.  From the outside, you would say “they seem so close” and we are, but like most real relationships, the truth is layered. There is a deep love yet there have also been wounds, tension, and a kind of emotional stickiness that’s…

  • Making peace with anger

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    loriday1974
    in

    For a long time, anger terrified me. Not just other people’s anger; mine too. It confused me, and I didn’t know what to do with it. I grew up watching anger explode at the most unpredictable times. It wasn’t a feeling; it was a force. Loud voices, slammed doors, silence that lasted days. It taught…

  • Leave it as you found it (That includes people)

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    loriday1974
    in

    I recently got away for a night with my daughter. We stayed in the sweetest little Airbnb tucked away in our province — cozy, quiet, and full of charm. As we packed up and got ready to check out, I found myself tidying up without really thinking about it. Honestly, it made me smile, because…

  • Why I apologize to my kids (then and now)

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    loriday1974
    in

    When I was growing up, parenthood seemed to be all about having the last word. I imagined that’s how I would have to parent as well.  I thought I had to be right; even when I wasn’t because being “the adult” meant holding authority. To be honest, for a long time, I misunderstood what authority really meant.…