The Other Side of Nice

Tag: writing

  • Nothing else matters

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    I used to tease my son that the reason he had anxiety was because he listened to heavy metal music. It was too much for my racing mom brain on the way to school. “We should listen to something less intense,” I’d joke. Truthfully, I believe music was his escape — just like it has…

  • A clean place to stand

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    Have you ever caught yourself saying, “What did I do in a past life to deserve this?” No? Just me?  I often muttered this when I was being tested through rough times. I look back at the version of myself that I was in my 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and I’m proud of who I’ve become…

  • Emotionally available, energetically protected

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    I used to take everything to heart. If someone was upset with me, I’d replay the conversation for days. I would spend hours crafting the perfect comeback in my head, only to keep it there. If something didn’t go as planned, I’d feel like it was somehow my fault and replay it until I was…

  • Choosing the right people

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    I’m an avid listener of the Mel Robbins podcast, so when I saw an episode last fall about the 80-year Harvard study on what makes a good life, I was excited to listen. A couple years back, my youngest had just gone off to college and was taking a sociology course. One night, she told…

  • You Don’t Need to Become Someone New

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    Every January, for most of my life, I made the same New Year’s Eve promises: This year I’ll lose weight. Spend less money. Get myself to work on time (when my kids were little—lol).And every December, I’d find myself wondering where the year went and what happened to all that motivation. We’re told that when…

  • Hi, my name is Lori and I “add to cart” for sport

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    How many times have you told yourself this holiday season, “I’m not going overboard this year” or “I’m all done shopping,” only to walk into a store and magically find more things someone in your life would “love”? My husband says if our Amazon driver misses a day, he’s going to file a wellness check.Honestly?…

  • Divine timing and the quiet work of souls

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    It’s a small world!We’ve all said it. We’ve all heard it. That moment when you meet someone who knows your cousin’s best friend’s sister — even though they grew up hours away — and you just kind of laugh and shake your head like, How is that even possible? But the older I get, the…

  • If you want a village, you have to be a villager

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    We’ve all heard the saying “it takes a village.” Usually, it’s in reference to raising children — but honestly, it applies to almost every stage of life. We all crave connection, support, and a sense of belonging. I’ll be honest: I’m an introvert. I do love people when the time is right, but being social…

  • Rewriting my inner voice

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    If there’s one voice that’s followed me through every stage of life, it’s the one inside my head: the critic. You know the one, the voice that whispers you’re not enough, you should’ve done better, they’re upset because of you. For far too many years, I listened to that voice without question because I thought…

  • Trust your gut – Always

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    A few years back, when my daughter was still in high school, she ended up at a friend of a friend’s house one night where a party was going on. Some of the adults there were doing things that made her uncomfortable — things someone even tried to tell her were “perfectly normal.” She didn’t…

  • How I finally learned my worth

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    Photo credit: Jordyn Day It took me far longer than I care to admit to finally like who I am and celebrate my worth.  It wasn’t until I was in my very late 30’s that I started to see that I was a good person who deserved to be happy. Codependency taught me to look…

  • The power of positivity: How shifting my self-talk changed everything

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    There’s a period of my life I look back on now and actually chuckle. My friend Ali and I used to have what we called our “bitching sessions.” We’d either get together or email (yes, we’re ancient) and pour out everything that was wrong in our lives, feeding off each other’s frustrations. At the time,…

  • The voice that changed the room

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    Some words live rent-free in your mind; not because they’re dramatic or loud, but because they arrived exactly when you needed them. I’ve always been anxious and terribly self-conscious. (I’ll share more about how I learned my worth in a future post.) I think this ties into everything I’ve written about so far: our life…

  • Vienna waits for you – learning to slow down and live

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    There’s a line from one of my daughter’s favorite Billy Joel songs, Vienna, that I never truly appreciated until she read it to me like a poem. I’ve never claimed to be a huge Billy Joel fan — I think his “Uptown Girl” era ruined it for me, lol. But I digress. The point is,…

  • Breaking generational curses – even now with my grown children

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    “I will never treat my children like that!” I used to mutter those words to my parents often, especially in my teen years. It was my small rebellion, my private promise to myself that I would do better—even if I didn’t know yet what “better” looked like. For a long time, I believed healing had…

  • Letting go when the nest finally empties

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    This post might not be original because I know many parents have shared similar stories about the empty nest when kids go off to college or university, but here’s my perspective. Even though it’s a common experience, the feelings are still deeply personal each time a parent goes through it. From the time my children…

  • Burnout isn’t always obvious

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    Burnout means something different to all of us. Maybe it looks like lying on the floor, unable to move, crying in the bathroom at work or not being able to get out of bed. The thing is, yes, it can absolutely look like all of that, personally I’ve learned that sometimes burnout is sneakier. Sometimes…

  • The one we don’t talk about (and that’s a good thing)

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    There’s a moment that sticks with me from one of my therapy sessions. I was deep in conversation unraveling worries about one child, then my father’s illness and on top of that; grandchildren and being a caregiver when I had barely anything left to give— when my therapist gently asked:“Have you ever noticed we rarely…

  • Loving my son through the hard parts

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    A mother/son bond is hard to beat.  It’s so different from the mother/daughter bond.  From the outside, you would say “they seem so close” and we are, but like most real relationships, the truth is layered. There is a deep love yet there have also been wounds, tension, and a kind of emotional stickiness that’s…

  • Leave it as you found it (That includes people)

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    by

    loriday1974
    in

    I recently got away for a night with my daughter. We stayed in the sweetest little Airbnb tucked away in our province — cozy, quiet, and full of charm. As we packed up and got ready to check out, I found myself tidying up without really thinking about it. Honestly, it made me smile, because…