Uncategorized – Page 2 – The Other Side of Nice

Letting go when the nest finally empties

This post might not be original because I know many parents have shared similar stories about the empty nest when kids go off to college or university, but here’s my perspective. Even though it’s a common experience, the feelings are still deeply personal each time a parent goes through it. From the time my children…
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The hardest boundary I’ve ever had to keep (and why I still struggle with it)

Over the years, I’ve learned how to set boundaries. It used to feel impossible but with the help of therapy, a few tears, and trial-by-fire, I have learned how to say no. There’s one boundary that still knocks the wind out of me. One that I have to recommit to daily, sometimes hourly: Not rescuing…
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Letting go of resentment

Photo Credit: Jordyn Day Resentment is one of those quiet weights we carry without realizing it. We don’t always realize how intricately it has woven itself into our thoughts, actions, and relationships until the moment we try to embark on releasing it. Resentment is not what I ever would have imagined; for me, it wasn’t…
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Being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat

There’s this perception that a kind person is one who always says yes.Or at least that was my perception for a long time. I thought that if I said no to extra work, invitations, favors, or anything that made me uncomfortable, I’d be viewed as difficult; maybe even bitchy, and for someone like me —…
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Burnout isn’t always obvious

Burnout means something different to all of us. Maybe it looks like lying on the floor, unable to move, crying in the bathroom at work or not being able to get out of bed. The thing is, yes, it can absolutely look like all of that, personally I’ve learned that sometimes burnout is sneakier. Sometimes…
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The one we don’t talk about (and that’s a good thing)

There’s a moment that sticks with me from one of my therapy sessions. I was deep in conversation unraveling worries about one child, then my father’s illness and on top of that; grandchildren and being a caregiver when I had barely anything left to give— when my therapist gently asked:“Have you ever noticed we rarely…
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Loving my son through the hard parts

A mother/son bond is hard to beat. It’s so different from the mother/daughter bond. From the outside, you would say “they seem so close” and we are, but like most real relationships, the truth is layered. There is a deep love yet there have also been wounds, tension, and a kind of emotional stickiness that’s…
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Making peace with anger

For a long time, anger terrified me. Not just other people’s anger; mine too. It confused me, and I didn’t know what to do with it. I grew up watching anger explode at the most unpredictable times. It wasn’t a feeling; it was a force. Loud voices, slammed doors, silence that lasted days. It taught…
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Leave it as you found it (That includes people)

I recently got away for a night with my daughter. We stayed in the sweetest little Airbnb tucked away in our province — cozy, quiet, and full of charm. As we packed up and got ready to check out, I found myself tidying up without really thinking about it. Honestly, it made me smile, because…
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Why I apologize to my kids (then and now)

When I was growing up, parenthood seemed to be all about having the last word. I imagined that’s how I would have to parent as well. I thought I had to be right; even when I wasn’t because being “the adult” meant holding authority. To be honest, for a long time, I misunderstood what authority really meant.…
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When helping turns into controlling

I’ve done a lot of reflecting over the years, and never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d ever admit that what I once believed was simply being “helpful” was truly, a form of control especially when it came to being a parent. My support wasn’t always as selfless as I told myself it…
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What I wish I had known at 30

My stepdaughter turns 30 this year, and honestly—she’s got her shit together, far more than I ever did at that age. If you tell her that, she’ll quietly laugh and shy away from the compliment, but I can see it in her: the confidence, the clarity, the steady way she walks through life – and…
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My Journey Through Codependency

What if the ‘love’ you thought you were giving was actually the slow erosion of yourself? Good people put others first, right? I know, I sound like a broken record here, but honestly, that’s what I thought for many years. I thought that if you loved and cared about someone, you sacrificed yourself and that…
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How my kids have taught me boundaries

No one really prepares you for parenting adult children. You think once they’re out of the house, things will settle and that your job is pretty much “done.” If anything, the lessons get deeper — and boundaries become even more important. When my kids were young, boundaries were something I thought I was good at…
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How I Learned to Say No Without Guilt

“No” has lived at the bottom of my vocabulary for most of my life. I buried beneath politeness, people-pleasing, and a deeply rooted fear of disappointing others. On the rare occasion that I mustered up the courage to say no to something, I would drown in guilt for days afterward. The kind, helpful and supportive…
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What Being “Nice” Cost Me

Why people-pleasing isn’t kindness, and how it nearly broke me. For most of my life, I believed being “nice” was a virtue — the highest one, in fact. I made myself available and I said yes when I wanted to say no, I bit my tongue to avoid conflict, I went out of my way…
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I Didn’t Know I Was Codependent — I Thought I Was Just Nice

Challenges in business are a given, but it’s our response to them that defines our trajectory. Looking beyond the immediate obstacle, there lies a realm of opportunity and learning.
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