Every January, for most of my life, I made the same New Year’s Eve promises: This year I’ll lose weight. Spend less money. Get myself to work on time (when my kids were little—lol).
And every December, I’d find myself wondering where the year went and what happened to all that motivation.
We’re told that when the calendar resets, we should reinvent ourselves; new habits, new mindset, new body, new life.
The last few years, I’ve tried something different. Not because I was giving up, but because doing the same thing year after year clearly wasn’t working. You don’t need to become someone new. That belief only sets you up for disappointment when you don’t follow through.
So instead of claiming the age-old “new year, new me,” I decided to try something completely unheard of for me; I stopped abandoning the version of myself that’s authentic.
I had spent a lifetime shaping myself to fit situations, to be liked, to keep the peace. This time, I decided I was done doing that.
The version of myself I work on now is one who respects herself and doesn’t abandon that respect when something feels off. Each year, I tighten this commitment, I stop overexplaining myself, over giving when I’m burnt out and I remove myself from situations that don’t fit.
These moments are always hiding in the background of our best intentions. And every time we ignore, rationalize, minimize, or push through we leave behind who we’re trying to become.
Self-abandonment is subtle. Sometimes we don’t even realize it’s happening. We’re just surviving. You are not weak for living this way. Survival taught you to adapt.
Real growth doesn’t come from becoming someone else. It comes from coming back to yourself.
Healing isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about finally listening to yourself.
As this year turns, I’m not setting resolutions to become better. I’m setting intentions to be more loyal to myself. I’ll pause when something feels off. I’ll honor my no’s without long explanations. I’ll trust the part of me that knows better and has earned my respect.
This year don’t reinvent yourself. Recommit to yourself.
The Other Side of Nice 