Some words live rent-free in your mind; not because they’re dramatic or loud, but because they arrived exactly when you needed them.
I’ve always been anxious and terribly self-conscious. (I’ll share more about how I learned my worth in a future post.) I think this ties into everything I’ve written about so far: our life experiences shape who we become. Some of us hide it better than others, but I truly believe everyone carries a bit of self-consciousness—along with the fear of messing up or looking foolish.
I was the one whose face turned 99 shades of red if I needed to speak up in a room. My voice would shake. I hated that. I wanted to be confident, but I just didn’t know how.
Years ago, I remember sitting in my office, nerves bubbling just beneath the surface. I was preparing to give a presentation for the first time to the management group, and self-doubt had already taken the mic in my head.
What if I mess up?
What if I sound like I didn’t know what I was talking about?
What if they ask questions that I don’t know how to answer?
What if they judged me?
Dave, my coworker and office neighbor, casually leaned on the doorframe, noticed my nerves, and after sharing with him what had me so wound up, he said something I’ve never forgotten:
“Look around the room. Do you really think any of them are any smarter than you? Everyone is in the position they’re in because they chose to put their hand up and say they would do it—not because they’re more qualified or more capable than you.”
That perspective shift hit like fresh air in a stuffy room.
He didn’t say it to minimize others. He said it to level the playing field and to remind me that courage doesn’t come from waiting to feel perfectly prepared. Courage comes from showing up, putting your hand up, and doing the thing anyway.
His words were exactly the confidence boost I needed at the time. They didn’t magically erase my nerves or instantly change how I walked into that room—but over time, they have truly changed how I walk into a lot of rooms.
Since then, I’ve passed that wisdom on to my kids. When they’ve felt small in big moments—school presentations, tryouts, job interviews; I’ve channeled Dave’s words.
Every time I have to remind them of their worth, I think of that day. I remember that this is what supportive friends do. They don’t just cheer you on; they hand you a new lens. They remind you who you are when you’re too nervous to remember it yourself.
So, here’s to the Dave’s of the world—the friends who steady your nerves, quiet the noise, and help you find your footing when your confidence is shaking. We all need at least one.
Because sometimes the words that live rent-free in your mind are the ones that remind you—you already belong in the room.
💬 Let’s Talk:
Has someone ever said something that stuck with you—something that shifted your mindset or helped you find your confidence?
I’d love to hear it. Share it in the comments or pass this post along to the “Dave” in your life as a thank-you.
The Other Side of Nice 