Burnout means something different to all of us. Maybe it looks like lying on the floor, unable to move, crying in the bathroom at work or not being able to get out of bed. The thing is, yes, it can absolutely look like all of that, personally I’ve learned that sometimes burnout is sneakier.
Sometimes burnout looks like functioning, showing up, checking things off the to do list, and simply smiling when someone asks, “how are you” and responding, “I’m good.”
Underneath though, you’re exhausted, your fuse is short and you’re either numb or way too emotional, and nothing feels like enough. You’ve given so much of yourself to people, obligations, and expectations that there’s very little left of you.
Sound familiar?
Burnout isn’t just a buzzword — it’s real, and it’s rising. I recently read an article by the World Health Organization, that burnout is a legitimate occupational phenomenon caused by chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.
But it’s not limited to work, and if I’m being honest, my workplace has been my reprieve, it could be that I actually enjoy the people I work with, but more importantly, it gives me routine and purpose.
There are so many other forms of burnout though, parenting burnout, caregiver burnout, compassion fatigue. It shows up in every corner of life.
- In mothers specifically, studies show burnout rates are as high as 68%, especially in those juggling work, parenting, and household management without adequate support.
- perhaps most telling: the people most prone to burnout are often the most caring, competent, and committed.
I didn’t recognize my own burnout at first because I was still doing all the things. Working, daily chores, managing everyone else’s schedule, well being, etc. Honestly, I felt disconnected from the things that used to bring me joy. I was tired but I couldn’t rest. Does that even make sense? I was irritable with the people I love the most and, like many of us, I kept thinking, “If I can just get through this week…things will settle down” until I realized I’d been saying that for months.
What contributed to my burnout? I could joke and say it was when my kids were teens, I mean, we can blame a lot of our ‘loss of sanity’ on the teen years can’t we? Seriously though, it was saying yes when I wanted to say no, feeling responsible for everyone’s feelings, taking on more than I had capacity for, and neglecting rest because I thought it meant I was lazy; I think we all confuse productivity with worth.
Burnout isn’t weakness. It’s your body and soul trying to get your attention. It’s the cost of carrying too much for too long. Burnout was my body’s way of waving a red flag that said, “You can’t keep living like this.”
Allow me to share a few practical things that helped me to start healing.
🧠 1. Name it.
Recognizing and admitting I was burnt out was the first step. It was one of the first times I was honest with myself and gave me permission to stop pretending I was okay.
💤 2. Prioritize real rest.
Not just doom scrolling on the couch or in bed. Actual rest. Which for me, meant early bedtimes, I’m talking 8:00pm and if I was feeling wild, maybe 9:00pm. I began saying no to things that drained me and rested without guilt.
🛑 3. Set micro-boundaries.
Big boundaries felt too hard at first, so I started small. I began declining social settings that used to make me feel out of place and anxious. For a gal who married a social butterfly, this took some firm boundaries later down the road.
🫶 4. Accept help — even when it’s uncomfortable.
Burnout thrives in silence and isolation. I had to learn to ask for help without feeling like a burden and to accept it when it was offered.
📓 5. Do one thing a day just for me.
I started doing yoga and realized how much better I felt in the mornings, not just more flexible, but more rested. Then I started doing more – journaling, watching lighthearted shows and also ones that I swore I’d never watch (which involved a super rich family that lived a life most of us don’t even see as realistic) it was my guilty pleasure and a way to escape reality. Later I worked on more self improvement activities like taking walks, watching documentaries, where I learned something and eventually, I took a Reiki course.
👩⚕️ 6. Talk to a therapist.
Burnout is emotional and physical. Therapy gave me perspective, tools, and maybe most importantly; permission to take my needs seriously.
Burnout recovery isn’t quick, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. You are allowed to take up space, to slow down and to be a human being, not just a human doing. That was one of my favourite lines from my therapist!
Burnout isn’t something you “push through.” It’s a signal that something needs to change — and that you matter too.
Are you burnt out? Running on fumes? I see you. You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to wait until everything falls apart to take care of yourself.
Burnout is real. And so is your need to rest, recover, and reclaim your joy — one small choice at a time.
The Other Side of Nice 