The Other Side of Nice

I recently got away for a night with my daughter. We stayed in the sweetest little Airbnb tucked away in our province — cozy, quiet, and full of charm. As we packed up and got ready to check out, I found myself tidying up without really thinking about it.

Honestly, it made me smile, because it brought back a memory; or maybe more of a life lesson from when my kids were younger. Any time we went away as a family whether it was a hotel, a campsite, a rental car, or even just spending the afternoon at the park, my husband would give the same speech before we left: “Leave it as you found it.”

He meant it.

That rule applied to everything: borrowed tools, friends’ houses, bedrooms, you name it. Even places we’d only be for a short time. It wasn’t about being overly neat; it was about being respectful and about recognizing that we share space in this world, and our presence shouldn’t leave a mess for someone else to clean up.

At the time, I don’t think the kids fully appreciated the message. (Honestly, I didn’t always either, especially when we were exhausted and just wanted to head home.) But now? I see the beauty in it, it was a consistent way of teaching responsibility, decency, and a kind of awareness that’s sorely lacking in a lot of places these days, a lesson in respect.

Lately I’ve been thinking, what if we extended that same wisdom to people?

Leave them as you found them; or better yet leave them better than you found them. I know, I certainly didn’t come up with this all on my own, we’ve heard it said before. I don’t mean in a savior kind of way, or “let me fix you” kind of way, but maybe we could learn to handle someone’s heart, their feelings or their story with a bit more compassion and kindness. 

The world is far too harsh and unpredictable right now and sometimes we leave footprints without realizing and we may walk into people’s lives and rearrange things without permission, or take pieces we weren’t meant to keep, dumping our mess in places we were only meant to visit briefly.

I know I’ve done it.

I’ve shown up half-healed and left people holding the weight of what I hadn’t dealt with yet.
I’ve clung too tightly to someone who was never mine to keep and on the other hand, I’ve had people walk through me like I was a hallway on the way to something better; never once looking back.

We don’t always get it right, but that doesn’t mean we stop trying.

Remember, people aren’t projects, and they are not places to escape, fix or conquer.
They’re not rehab centers for your broken heart or mirrors for your ego. They are human, and we are all a little messy at times, but we are deserving of care even when we are complicated.

So, remember the impact you have on people in your life and if you must leave; leave kindly. Don’t ghost or burn it down and most importantly, don’t leave someone questioning their worth because of your confusion.

And if you stay; be gentle. Take off your shoes; don’t track your pain across someone else’s soul. Remember to clean up after your words because those words can have a lasting impact.

We don’t always get to choose how we enter each other’s lives, but we do get to choose how we leave whether by choice or not.

Whether it’s an acquaintance, lifelong friend, relationship or relative, choose to leave each other better or at the very least, just as we found them.

Take a moment today to think about the people you’ve walked alongside whether just briefly, or a lifetime.

• Have you left them better?
• Did you clean up after your words?
• Do you owe someone a conversation, an apology, or just a little more care?

I know that I can answer yes to all of them.  I often need to remind myself to be the kind of person who leaves soft footprints and make others feel safe, not scattered. Kindness doesn’t cost much but its impact lasts long after we’ve gone.

As I tidied up that little Airbnb, I realized something; “leave it as you found it” means more to me now.  It was never about cleaning up after yourself in the literal sense, it was about respect and gratitude.  It’s about being aware of the impact we have on the spaces and the people we touch.  The goal isn’t to just leave things neat, but to leave them better if we can. 

Sometimes, the best lessons are the ones we live out without realizing.